Funny joke quote

The lizard looks up and says “Hey, what are you doing?” The monkey says “Smoking a joint. Come up and join me.” So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey, and they have another joint. After a while, the lizard says his mouth is ‘dry’, and that he’s going to get a drink from the...

His daughter wanted to say a prayer before sleeping, so the father listened. “God bless mommy, God bless daddy, God bless Grandma, Good bye Grandpa” The father asked, “Why did you say good bye Grandpa?” The little girl said “I don’t know, it just seemed like the right thing to say.” The...

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“Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?” No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, “You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I’m going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!” Mrs...

A cat dies and goes to heaven. God meets him at the gate and says, “You have been a good cat all of these years.” “Anything you desire is yours, all you have to do is ask.” The cats says, “Well, I lived all my life with a poor family on a farm and had to sleep on hardwood floors.” God...

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

These funny corny jokes will make you laugh even on the hardest days.

"I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down."